Help! My Husband Is Addicted To Porn

By Women Inspiring Prosperity

I wanted to write about this because more and more, families are being ripped apart by porn addiction. Sadly wives feel hurt when their husbands turn to porn, particularly when it’s at the expense of time spent with the family. Often times wives aren’t sure how to deal with what they consider to be a betrayal of trust. Twelve months ago I would have been one of those women. Now I realize that there is a way to heal from the hurt, betrayal, and disappointment that surrounds learning that your husband is addicted to porn.

If you had asked me about this a year ago, the disgust in my tone would have been obvious. I hated and had no tolerance for porn addiction. Whilst I wouldn’t say that I tolerate it now, I do understand that porn addiction is similar to any other addiction. It’s toxic and a home wrecker. I also recognize that individuals that are hooked on porn have a serious problem and need help to cut loose from it. Plus, if we truly cherish our husbands we ought to be willing to help them through this sort of dependence.

If your husband is willing to receive help:

  • Be willing to forgive your husband and let him know that you forgive him.
  • If you say you forgive him, it means you can no longer bring up his indiscretion when you argue or have disagreements. What’s buried is buried and should not be resurrected.
  • Be willing to go with him to seek spiritual and psychological counseling.
  • Be willing to sit and talk to your husband about that other issues he may be having, as porn is usually a symptom of a bigger problem.
  • Be aware that you may have contributed to the challenges your husband is dealing with and be willing to address those concerns in a non-confrontational manner.
  • Encourage him to share the problems he’s having with a close, trustworthy friend, someone he can be held accountable to in the event he falls off the wagon.
  • During all of this spend time praying for him and your family.

Other things you need to consider are:

  • Try talking to your husband about how all this makes you feel but do so without being confrontational and without laying blame.
  • Call on someone trustworthy to share with, as you work through those feelings of confusion, hurt, disappointment, and/or shame.
  • Choose to reject thoughts such as you’re not good enough, not pretty enough etc. Don’t blame yourself.
  • Seek professional counseling to help you through your emotions and to help you decide on the best way to broach the subject with your husband.
  • Fight for your family with consistent prayer and fasting.
  • Seek spiritual help from persons you can trust to keep your issues confidential. It’s always good to have others praying for you, especially when you can’t or don’t feel to pray for yourself.

This is not at all intended to say that wives are the sole or primary reason for husbands turning to porn, though this is possible. The intention here speaks to love and how we respond in love to husbands who turn to porn. If we find ourselves in this or any other situation and we decide to forgive and stay with our husband, we then have to be careful that we don’t perpetuate the hurt and anger. It won’t be easy but responding in love will sooner get us to reconciliation.

However, if your husband isn’t willing to receive help or worse than that, doesn’t believe there is a problem, you have an even greater problem. You’ll need to decide whether or not you’re willing to stick it out. It won’t be easy. I know because I’ve been there. However marriage isn’t meant to be easily discarded and we have to be willing to try to work things through rather than quickly walk away. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying you have to stay. I’m saying don’t be quick to walk away.

Much Love,

Tricia-Anne

All rights reserved © 2015.

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